Day 36

Heck at this point, I don't even know the "Day" it is. I think it's 36. All I know is that I'm into week 6 of my journey. WI yesterday....lost 4.8 lbs!! I was hoping for 7 but you know, I'll take what I can get especially after the 2 lb gain last week.

I've learned that I can't even really guage my progress week over week because my body fluctuates so much. So I think a better indicator is to average it out month over month and so far I'm averaging a little more than 3 lbs per week. Not bad.

I put on my size 16 jeans today and they are literally falling off me! What an awesome feeling. Since I don't have any smaller sized jeans (I get rid of my clothes faster than probably most people)I had to put on a belt. And because when I'm heavy I NEVER wear belts because lets face it, the fat tends to keep the pants on, the belt didn't have enough holes to really make a difference! Ahhhh, this must be what it feels like to be a skinny bitch!! LOL, don't get me wrong, I totally do not consider myself skinny. I have only lost 16.3 lbs in 5 weeks with almost 35 more to go.

But I can't lie, it sure feels good to have your clothes looking baggy because of weight loss and not because you bought 2 sizes larger to make yourself look thinner :)

Now that I've been doing this for a while, I really think I will stick to eliminating sugar from my diet. Sugar is evil. It tastes good but evil in so many ways. I fear even having a little taste of it when I'm done with this diet plan for fear it will be like crack and I'll get addicted again. Nothing like fear to motivate you! I have accepted "cheating" on one meal a week, usually on Sat night. By cheating, I'm not going hog wild but last weekend we went to a habachi where the chef makes everything on a big grill in front of you and of course he made fried rice which is my favorite. I ate it...all. But I had the teriyaki chicken and some shrimp so out of the whole meal, the rice was the worst part. And I still lost almost 5 lbs. Maybe the rice is why I didn't lose the extra 2. Who knows.

Also another accomplishment is last Friday Brett wanted to go to Cracker Barrel for dinner for their fish fry (he gets the fried cod which is possibly the best we have ever tasted) and I got their chef salad. I did get the ranch dressing but I used it so sparingly that you could barely tell I used any at all since the little container it comes in on the side barely looks touched. So I keep proving to myself that I can do this even with SOOOOO much temptation around. I think it's because when we are done with the meal and I had to witness Brett eating all the things that I absolutely love, I feel so much better physically. I'm not stuffed to the gills, I'm not bloated and tired. Instead, I feel satisfied and light on my feet! I can definitely learn to love that feeling. It's what's keeping me going right now.

Day 28

Weigh in...I gained 2 lbs. I just don't get it. Yeah I cheated on 2 meals during 9 days of my vacation and I worked out like crazy!! That's 2 out of 36 meals. I knew cheating wasn't going to aid in the weight loss but there's no way in hell I should have gained 2 whole lbs.

I've cut my calorie intake by thousands per week, I'm fast walking between 3-7 miles a day....WTF! I'm either gaining muscle, not drinking enough water, or full of crap (literally). I've just been diagnosed with IBS with constipation, lovely. I'm actually glad that at least my condition has a name and that it's a real condition. My dr prescribed amitiza which according to their website comments by patients who are either on or are taking it, can have extremely unpleasant side affects.

I know medications effect everyone differently and I'm hoping to be the ones who were celebrating it as an answer to their prayers and that I will finally feel normal again and perhaps lose a few pounds. According to my doc this form of IBS is extremely common in women and according to the boards, 99.9% of the people commenting were women. I am not taking any chances with this medicine though and have decided to start taking it over the weekend in case I happen to be one of those women who suddenly find themselves in a diarreha puddle (EWWWWWW).

One positive outcome of today's weigh in is that they took my measurements. Compared to 4 weeks ago I have lost 1.5" off my chest, 2" off my waist and I think 2" off my hips and some inches off my arms and legs. So I got that going for me!

I know what I'm doing is working. Again Kari, don't get caught up in the numbers on the scale. My two indiscretions did show me that I feel like serious crap after eating a high carb/sugar meal (not only the crappy feeling of guilt but literally I could feel my body reacting by spiking my insulin). I got a slight headache and just felt sluggish and bloated overall. Don't get me wrong, I do miss my pizza and Cracker Barrel but it's not worth feeling both bad and guilty.

So now I'm into week 5. It does get easier and I have to admit, I feel a little bit of my "glow" and confidence coming back! My pants are much baggier and my face and stomach are much flatter so even though the numbers on the scale aren't reflecting what I want them to, there are definite benefits to sticking to this thing.

Day 23

The other night I cheated on my diet. I've been so good so far on my vacation but I had to admit I was miserable. We'd gone out to eat a few times and knowing I couldn't eat 2/3rds of what was in my meal pissed me off. Why am I paying $12 for only eating the meat!

So the other night Brett convinced me that cheating a little will not cause me to gain 5 pounds. So I've been CRAVING Giordannos pizza. So we go. We get the turkey chef salad with a side of ranch. I ate the cheese that came with it along with a tiny bit of ranch. Plus I had ONE little piece of bread and butter. I hate to admit that that piece of bread and butter was HEAVEN!! Then came the pizza. I thought I'd mauw down on 4 pieces but all I could manage was a little corner piece and a regular piece (they're cut in squares so nothing huge). AND I drank water, no pop when I could have killed for a Pepsi.

And you know what? I didn't feel super guilty. Now I did weigh myself the following morning just to check and Brett was right, nothing gained. I then continued to walk over 7 miles and bike ride another 6 miles just for good measure :) I have to admit, I wanted to make sure I burned all those bad calories!

But I did learn something from it. I learned that you have to give in to those cravings every now and then or it will make me miserable AND I will go crazy once I can have them and I don't want to sabotage this. I also learned that the food I was craving was very good but I can live without it. It's more of a mental thing than a nutrition thing.

So even though I also crave Cracker Barrel and Oberweis, I don't feel the urge to totally go hog wild and eat it. I looked at myself in the mirror and can see my stomach flattening out and my face and neck getting thinner and I really don't want to mess that up. I'm finally liking what I see again and that's HUGE!!

Now it's going to be another beautiful sunny day and I am going to go out and enjoy it!!!

Day 21

Weighed in this morning and lost 2.8 lbs. Yeah, I should be happy but I'm not. I've been depriving myself of all the foods I love and I'm on VACATION!!! You do not know how extremely difficult and a test of willpower it is to resist eating the good stuff.

I know I'm being a brat. There's no way I would have lost close to 14 lbs in 3 weeks if I was doing this on my own. I know, I know!!! But it's just frustrating. My problem is I set myself up for this disappointment every week because I expect to lose at least 5 lbs a week. Last week it was 3.4 lbs and I thought that was because I was starting my monthly cycle so I chalked the low numbers to that. So this WI I thought for sure it would be 5 lbs. It's just hard when you lose almost 8 lbs during the first week and every week after that the numbers have dropped considerably.

But I can see the difference! I'm anxious to get my measurements done next week because I know I've lost inches. I must keep the big picture in mind. Before I even started this thing I estimated at least 2-3 months to get to my goal weight. I guess I'm on track.

It's just that this diet is very difficult to maintain. I'm tired of my veggies and salad so I'm resorting to eating pickles for my veggie requirement. I know the reason why I'm not losing weight is because I'm not eating enough. Plus I need to start weight training to build muscle so it will burn more calories.

Okay, I know it sounds funny but my mantra is "skinny face" and it is what is keeping me going. I hate having a fat face, which is where my weight tends to go first, so getting back my skinny face along with skinny body is what I have to keep in mind. I didn't gain this weight in 3 weeks so I'm not going to lose it all in 3 weeks. I.must.keep.going!!!

Day 16

I just have to say that I love love love summer! This weather just screams for me to be outside! Needless to say, it's hard to sit here at work :)

I have vowed to walk every day that it is not raining. I use to jog but now I prefer a nice fast walk. For some reason, I'm just as sore after the walk! But it's easier on my joints and there's no excuse not to do it whereas with jogging, I always manage to find a reason why I don't want to do it. Not that I don't enjoy it, but I figure with the massive reduction in my calorie intake, walking is about all I can handle before I lose steam.

I realized yesterday that eating has now become a big to-do. For example, last night after my walk, I get home around 6:15 and planned on cooking chicken. So I get out the pan for the chicken, season it, throw it in the oven. Then I ate the rest of my salad which was pretty huge but good so I scarfed it down. So then I decided to chop the other head of lettuce because I know I'll need to. Then I figured I'd better make some veggies so I chopped up the couliflower and threw it in the steamer. Then I realized that because I ate my lean protein at lunch that I need to have a meal packet for dinner. So I unbox my brand new blender and decide to try and make IP ice cream!! I take it all apart to give it a good wash (never know what happens to these things during packaging), put it back together, briefly read the instructions since I've never owned a blender and dumped my IP chocolate shake power with water and some ice cubes. Blended it and because I wasn't sure how long to blend it, it came out more like chocolate slushy. But it was pretty good! I liked it so much better than just adding water and shaking it in my little shaker. Now my plan is to master this blender!!

Anyway, so when it was all said and done, I had a ton of dishes to wash!! Seems like every meal requires a million dishes. Before all I had to do was throw away the fast food bag. Yes, it's much easier but I have to admit, my body is much more satisfied with nutritious food than fast food. I'm still surprised how I can get so full off of salad and veggies.

I'm on vacation next week and part of me really wishes that I can eat whatever I want. It's how I use to celebrate my vacations in the past. I'm not worried that I'll fall off the wagon since I'm not going anywhere plus I'll be going into week 4 at that point and I've come too far to mess this up!!

Day 15

So WI wasn't as good as I thought it would be at 3.4 lbs but I can't complain. My total weight loss for two weeks is 11 lbs which is an average of 5.5 lbs per week. Definitely better than any other diet I've been on!

The doc did scold me for not eating 3 IP packets a day though. I told him that I was spreading out my lunch but he wasn't having it. He said I have to have that 3rd packet to maintain my muscle mass, which without it I'm creeping into the starvation diet which is not healthly. I guess part of me was thinking that it meant less calories but he's right, I don't want to lose muscle because in the end, muscle is what is going to keep the fat off.

So he said I can start buying the meal bars which from the 3fatchicks website I hear are really good. He advised that I cut one bar in half and have it for my afternoon snack then eat the rest around 7:30 as my nightly snack. He said not to eat them everyday since they do have carbs in them so hopefully I can restrain myself :)

Yesterday I stir fried shrimp for the first time!! OMG it was FABULOUS!! I dipped the shrimp in the Franks Buffalo wing sauce and I could have eaten all 16 oz of it. I saved half for lunch today and I can't wait to eat them (although I hope they taste as good as when they were fresh). I also made an awesome looking salad which I now realize cutting up a head of lettuce tastes so much better than the bag lettuce.

So I'm off to Week 3!

Day 14

Today's weigh in and I'm excited to see how week 2 went. It's still not easy and I tend to put myself in temptation's way. We went to BW3 Saturday night to meet up with some friends and I absolutely love their buffalo ranch chicken wrap. Needless to say, there was none of that in my future. So I prepared myself and ate a grilled chicken breast a couple hours before we left for Bdubs. I brought my homemade salad dressing and ordered the garden salad minus cheese minus croutons so it was lettuce and tomatoes. I was fine until we ended up hanging out for about 4 hours!!!

I think I drank 64 oz of water during that time to quelch my intense hunger pains. Seeing and smelling those wings going past our table all night almost killed me. Talk about torture. But I managed!! I didn't waver. I went home and went to bed. But I told Brett that I will NOT be doing that again!! Two hours max is all I can handle.

Honestly, I don't know why I do this to myself. I think I like testing myself because when I pass, I know that I can do this. They say you shouldn't have any cravings while on this program but I am sooooo wanting Giordano's Pizza!! I just love how it tastes, it's not like I'm filling an emotional void.

But the more and more I notice the weight loss, the less inclined I am to filling my belly with pizza. I'm just getting burned out on the veggies. My selection is quite small only because I don't know how the others taste or even how to cook them. I made a HUGE mistake and bought brussel sprouts. I thought I liked them. I COULD NOT HAVE BEEN MORE WRONG!!! Grant it, I probably didn't cook them correctly but I don't think it would matter, the taste was horrendous. Note to self, don't buy those again. I find myself not eating enough salads (mostly skipping them altogether) and not really eating the veggies as much as I should. And of course, I'm hungry!! I'm losing weight but in the end, not eating enough is not a good thing for many reasons.

Time to get creative!!

Day 10

Why oh why did I not do this diet sooner? My body is screaming THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! I feel so good right now. My stomach has flattened a little (meaning the rolls have gotten a little smaller, not like I now have 6 pack abs) and I just feel so much better. I don't feel bloated or sluggish. Instead I feel light and peppy!

My friend Lori told me that the second week would be easier and she's right. I'm not as hungry between meals which I think is because I now have the meal packets that I really like plus I've upped my lean meat intake to around 8 oz instead of 5. I continue to walk 3.6 miles everyday and am accepting that even though I am not jogging, a fast walk is good for me. I'm actually sore by the end of it which surprised me. I'm an all or nothing girl so usually I insist that if I can't push myself to the limit each workout then why bother. Now my thinking is just walk everyday. It's not hard and it's easier on my joints. I need to start incorporating weight training back into my workouts because I know muscle is going to help me continue to burn calories throughout the day. I just don't have the energy yet. I'll get there though!

Day 7

Let's just start with the good news...did my first weigh in today and I lost 7.6 lbs in one week!!! WTF!!! Trust me, it was not easy. I told the doc that I'm still very hungry and he said that I'm not eating or drinking enough then. So he gave me a couple of recipes for salad dressings because I told him that I will puke if I have to eat another dry or vinegar and oil salad (I think it is the white vinegar that nauseates me). And because I am working out, he said to up the ounces on the dinner lean meats (yay). My biggest problem on this diet is that I am not a cook. Anybody who knows me will vouch for that. I am a woman of convenience, hence the 50 lbs weight gain. I think if I were a cook I'd know how to be creative enough to add variety to my meals. So he gave me a website called three fat chicks. I haven't checked it out yet. The doc also advised on getting Big Franks buffalo wing hot sauce to add to my chicken. Let me tell you, I baked some chicken for dinner tonight(plain with just a little sea salt) and dipped it in this buffalo sauce and can I say OMG!!!! It was phenominal! Like I said, maybe it's because I'm on such a restricted diet that anything tastes awesome but seriously, I now realize how good home cooking can be. Never in my life until now have I bought garlic cloves, garlic press, asparagus, couliflower, broccoli, evoo, a veggie steamer (the best purchase yet), food scale or half of the no cal/no fat/no carb condiments! Grant it this diet is costing me an arm and a leg but heck, with results like 7 lbs lost in one week, it is absolutely worth it.

I think what's even more gratifying is that I'm learning to like cooking...let me pause here while my best friend and boyfriend catch their breath :) Yeah, who knew!! I'm learning good eating habits and portion control that will last a lifetime. This is not a one-time goal for me, I want to keep all this weight off after it comes off.

I just have to give myself some props here, I managed to stick to this diet throughout Memorial Day weekend which was a HUGE accomplishment. We went to the movies and I kept smelling that popcorn and it was extremely hard not to cheat (especially since my stomach was growling). Then we went to Champps which is my all time favorite restaurant and it was 1/2 off burger night (their burger is one of my fav). I got a side order of grilled shrimp, a side salad, and steamed broccoli with two big glasses of water. While my boyfriend ate a bbq burger with waffle fries and cheese dip (did I mention that these waffle fries are fabulous - to me at least). I did not even steal one fry. Talk about commitment. Don't get me wrong, it was excruciating to resist. I figured I've suffered through 6 whole days at that point that I wasn't throwing it all away. I must train myself not to be an emotional eater. One day at a time.